Co-Workers Driving You Bananas? Avoid Getting Bruised!

Whether they’re arrogant, talkative, pushy, time-sucks, whiners, or over-all annoying, if they’re your co-workers, you have to deal with them. As tempting as it would be to go “postal”, the reality is you need to have a positive relationship with them in order to be effective in your job. Sure, you could complain to your boss but that could make you look bad and potentially worsen the situation with your co-workers. How do you manage the relationship with an impossible co-worker – without alienating them? Here are the behaviors that cause the most trouble, and ideas on how to deal with them:

1. Arrogant Alvin – He’s the guy who swaggers into your office and is all too happy to point out what you need to do. To boot, he probably talks loud. Arrogant people are generally very insecure, so it’s important to be tactful. The best way to deal with Alvin when he insists on telling you how or what to do is to acknowledge his positive intention, “I know you’re trying to be helpful and I can appreciate that.” Then kill two birds with one stone. Create a bond with him so he’s likely to walk away feeling good, and tell him how you generally handle things so it’s more a statement about you than it is about him. For example, “If I find I need your help, it’s good to know that I have you as a resource. Generally, however, just like you, I prefer to do things my own way.” This leaves the door open for you, should you need his help in the future.
2. Pushy Pricilla – Pricilla is stubborn and argumentative and generally pushy. When she takes a position she won’t give an inch – even if there are other valid options to consider, she has to be right. The best way to deal with her is to find some point of agreement with what she is saying. This will immediately disarm her and she will become more open to your point of view. Pricilla is so pushy and stubborn because she feels like her idea is being resisted. For example, Pricilla insists that the marketing budget should be spent on advertising, yet you think promotion is more important. She says “Advertising works. It always has in the past and it’s a no brainer”. If you respond “No, we should do promotion” she will launch into 10 reasons why advertising is better. The most effective way to handle Pricilla is to find something you can agree on “You’re right, advertising has worked.” This does not mean you agree that the budget should be spent on advertising, you’re just finding common ground. By offering this, Pricilla will no longer feel the need to keep pounding away at her position and will be more open to hearing your ideas.
3. Willie Whiner – Complainers just want to complain. Willie doesn’t want advice or you to argue with him, he just wants a sounding board. Oh, but it’s so annoying to listen to him complain and complain. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, the faster you empathize, the quicker he’ll be finished. For example, Willie says “I work hard and nobody notices.” You can short circuit this conversation by saying “You do work hard and I can understand why you’d be upset if nobody cared”. You just gave Willie what he wants – a little understanding.
4. Talkative Tillie – Every office has someone like Tillie. By all accounts, she is a very nice person but just tends to talk too much. You see her walking down the hall and look for an open door to duck into. You feel guilty, don’t want to be rude, but have work to do and can’t spend big chunks of time listening to the minutia. Unfortunately, you can’t avoid her forever so when she pops into your cubicle, set the expectation upfront. Let her know you’re in the middle of something and only have a couple of minutes. Then signal that with body language: stand up, don’t let her sit down; look at your watch and have an intensity about you so she knows you need to get back to work. You can excuse yourself and say “sorry I have to cut this short”.
5. Nosey Nancy & Rude Richard – Let us hear from you.   What is your best advice on dealing with these types in your office?

Since no man is an island and we all have to work together, it’s important to try and understand where your co-workers are coming from. When you realize their behavior is a symptom of some other issues they’re dealing with and most likely has nothing to do with you, you’ll be better equipped to deal with them. No matter how annoying your co-workers can be, have compassion. After all, you may fit into one of these annoying categories on a bad day.

Fred & Gladys
Whelan Stone
Executive Search and Coaching

Copyright 2009 Whelan Stone. All rights reserved.

 

www.whelanstone.com

21st Century Business Etiquette

Have you noticed that manners have taken a backseat in the workplace?  This isn’t new but, sadly, is a growing trend.  Companies put a lot of pressure on people to get their jobs done and this can create stress and tension.  People fly by you in the morning on their way to a meeting, without saying hello.  Or, barge into your office or cubicle and expect your immediate attention.  Is this the end of the world?  No.  But wouldn’t it be nice if people were just a little nicer?  

People may rationalize that there just isn’t enough time, but we all know that it only takes a minute to create goodwill.  While having the opportunity to make a greater impact is the main reason people leave their jobs, following close behind is the chance to escape rude co-workers.  

 Here’s our “Take Five” on how to make your workplace a little friendlier: 

1.  Play Nice – It only takes a second to be polite.  Remember the magic word “please”” shouldn’t sound like “Puhleeze”.  People appreciate when you make the extra effort to be nice.  Selfishly, being nice also pays huge dividends.  In this era of needing to work collaboratively, being nice will make people more apt to want to work with you and contribute to your projects.  

 2.  Don’t Make Your Bad Day, Their Bad Day – We all have those days when we’re not feeling 100%.  Whether it’s a cold or personal problem, your bad mood may lead you to take it out on your colleagues in the form of ATTITUDE.  When you find yourself in this situation, let people know that you’re “off” today and that the “real you” will hopefully show up tomorrow.  Apologize when necessary. 

3. Return Calls & Emails – Be responsive to people you work with.  Even if you don’t have the information they’re looking for, acknowledge their communication.  For example, if they are calling for an update and you don’t have one, it’s better to respond “I’ll get back to you tomorrow” than not to respond at all.   

4.  Meetings Rule – It’s important to show up on time and be prepared.  Even if you would rather not be there (see # 5) – you owe it to the other participants to contribute and be attentive.  Bringing your positive attitude to the meeting will inspire others to do the same. Being present is key and that means not glancing at your Blackberry every few minutes.  

5.  Wait Your Turn – How often have you been in a conversation with someone, when a third person walks up and interjects something about an unrelated issue?  Recognizing how annoyed you are when that happens to you, avoid doing that to others.  The same holds true for walking into someone’s office and speaking while they’re in the middle of working.  If you do need to interrupt, then apologize for doing so.  Don’t assume it’s okay to just barge in.  

Keep these practices in mind and you’ll have a real positive affect on your co-workers.  You may not be able to change your entire working environment, but you can make a difference and lead the way. 

Did we miss any in your top five?